001: WELCOME

All music begins in silence.
And all light begins in darkness.

All music begins
in silence.

This is the most interesting thing that I learned in music theory.

I also learned from my music theory - and music history - teacher, that all my teachers are liars.

This is something that was very useful to know for my later time when I started studying in senior high and in university. I took that with me and carried it with me with everything I learned. My music theory teacher wanted us to understand that teachers have to simplify the complexity of the world in order to communicate chosen, separated aspects about it.

But...let’s get back to the silence, which was, anyway, the most interesting thing I learned in my music theory. Well, together with the notion that all teachers are liars.

I want to make a podcast that can respect silence, and then also, fill it with new sounds. Maybe this is a kind of paradox. That’s good. I like paradoxes. I try to learn to maintain a view of “both-and”. What if both is true? To hold multiple perspectives instead of the “black-and-white”, or “black-or-white”, “either-or”.

So, yes, I want to make a podcast that can respect silence, that can contain silence inbetween, but also fill the silence with new sounds.

Sounds that come from the deep.

Sounds from the soul.

Welcome to Dark Void Disco.

At first, I was unsure about having “dark” in the title of this podcast. I believe in balance, in both light and dark, day and night, black and white, and all colors inbetween.

But I feel like we haven’t really achieved a true balance with these things in our world, yet. And I feel like my role, one of my roles at this stage, in this point of time, is to be a spokesperson for the dark.

For the night.

For the low.

For the deep.

For

the

slow.

And then in the future maybe there will be true balance, at some point. And this podcast will be just another old redundant podcast from a previous generation, from an old time, that has lost all its relevance, because the things at that present moment are evolved, different. That’s fine.

But for now, I need to speak for the dark void. I was asked to do so. I was called to do so. I kept resisting answering the call, and the void kept pushing. So here I am. And, yeah, even if I was resisting, I made the decision that I’m gonna do this and play, enjoy, have fun. Because, even if dark void sounds very dark and menacing and maybe it conjures associations to some kind of evil, that’s not the idea of this podcast. Yes. Maybe there is darkness, and some kind of shadows, and pain and suffering and even evil. But it’s not the whole picture.

The idea with talking about the dark void is to provide a space for the shadows. Make space for all sides, all aspects. And because these sides are pushed down into the shadows. Into the subconscious. We do not have that space in our time, in our culture, at least where I am living, that is the feeling I have. And through this podcast, I create a space.

So, what about “disco”? Well, as I said, even if we talk about the dark void here, there is also space in the dark to dance, enjoy and play. And that’s where the disco comes in. And I just like the sound of that. “Dark Void Disco”.

Let’s go into the dark with curiosity and playfulness.

It sounds like another paradox.

And maybe it is, but it really isn’t.

So what about me, why was I called to do this podcast? I’m something of a night owl and I feel like I come alive at dusk. Something opens in me when the sun goes down and the sky is painted pink. It’s like a portal opening and other things can appear in the dark when the light of the sun is behind the planet. The shadow side lits up a different type of energy. And for me, I often felt calmer in the night because it was the only time when I had a little bit of space for myself. When everyone else had gone to bed I could be in silence.

I’ve had times when I gathered most strength from being in some kind of void space. These inbetween states before and after a big shift or transformation has taken space.

I also love dark moons, because they bring me a sense of clarity and peace.

And I also have an intimate connection to this dark void. I’ve been dancing with the dark my whole life, in different ways. Earlier it felt like I was pushed there against my will. I wanted to be optimistic and happy and suddenly I got pushed into the dark. I got panic attacks. Anxiety. Depressive states. Total emptiness. Feeling like I was floating in the void. In nothingness. Nothing mattered. Why was I even here? I’ve been there many times, and I probably will be many times more. And from a very personal place, this podcast is a way for me to channel out those feelings or provide me with a space where I can consciously meet that side of me that is very connected to this darkness, to this dark void. To have, and create a safe space for communicating with the shadow sides of myself and this dark void overall. So, yeah, I do understand why I was called to do this podcast, from a voice in the dark, in the deep void.

I wonder sometimes why we say “for the highest good of all”. And I started saying “for the highest and deepest good of all”. Because I wanted to add the beauty of the depths into it. And this is another type of paradox, but not really, because the highest and the deepest are connected. We are standing on a ball. At least that’s the way my world view was constructed based on what I have learned. On a huge ball, rotating around in a vast, infinite space, in the universe. If we think about going higher, we’re going out into space. If we go down further, we go deep into the earth, into it’s core, into the fires. Then, if we go even deeper, we go through the core and we go back into that same space. And there’s something about this that I find fascinating to think about.

And I think it also makes sense to think about this in terms of your own being, in yourself. When you go to your highest, or your deepest point, they might not be all too different. What is that space? There comes a space where those differences cease to matter, or they are inhabiting a different role.

It’s fascinating to think about these metaphors and try to see how your mind has been molded by the language, and the metaphors in our language. We live by so many metaphors that shape our minds. Maybe growing up with two languages, as a bilingual, helped me in noticing how different languages wire our mind to think in different ways, based on how that language is structured and designed.

So, in this podcast I want to dive deep into the language of the deep, of the dark void, and how it is discussed, how it is experienced.

And I think I will leave this first episode here, as a shorter introduction, and then we can dive deeper in the coming episodes.

So, how is the language of the dark void constructed?

Well, one thing that I know, is that it begins in silence. And then, into the silence, new sounds can be added. New sounds, songs of the soul, can be created.

When we start in the emptiness we have space to create.